listen softly

I made a video of my depression to losing someone I loved. Letting him go to start the New Year with an open heart and endless possibilities.

Lick Me Like Candy

Lick me like candy.

Taste the sweetness.

Feel the sugar rush.

Are you addicted?



Unwrap me gently.

Savor the flavor.

Nibble me all over.

Want more?



I'm chocolate with gold.

Expensive with each bite.

Melt me in your mouth.

Do you deserve me?



Roll me around your tongue.

Feel my silky texture.

Devour me slowly.

Want another taste?

Kiss Me

Hold me close.

Touch me tenderly.

Kiss me softly.

Don't ever let go.



Stroke my hair.

Massage my skin.

Kiss my neck.

Never stop.



Taste my lips.

Feel my thighs.

Kiss my cheek.

Keep going.



Squeezing me tightly.

Suckle my breasts.

Kiss my stomach.

Desiring more.



Pull me in.

Spread my legs.

Kiss my...

Make me beg.



Press against me.

Look deep into me.

Kiss me passionately.

I need you.

Yearning Desires

Yearning for more.

My desires are strong.

I pick up the pieces,

The tiny shards left behind.

I wanted to cry...

Often I run.

Escape the pain.

Ignore the loss.



Yearning for the unknown.

My desires over whelm me.

Fixated on becoming whole.

There is so much more to love.

Hiding kept me from knowing,

From seeing what I missed.

Passion runs through these veins.

Drive gets me pumping.

My heart has become opened.



Yearning for excitement.

My desires come alive.

Pulling myself up.

Looking past the fears.

Feeling more than ever before.

Allowing for more to come.

Seeking the thrills.

Trying to experience it all.

Greedy for this new life.

This yearning desire sets me free.

If You Want Me

Can you make me laugh?

It's not hard, I promise.

Are you a lover?

Can you calm me down?

Let's not fight, just hug me tightly.

Want to play?

Want to flirt?

Come and tackle me.

Let's see how strong you are.

Want me to beg?

I'll beg, beg you to treat me right.

Want my lies or the truth?

You'll know when I lie,

My eyes will tell you the truth.

Want to make me smile?

Get me a gumball machine toy.

Want to know my addiction?

Skeeball is one. You are the other.

Want to know my fears?

Being vulnerable. Letting you inside.

Want to know my weakness?

Smiles and sensitivity.

Can you imagine us?

Let me tell you what I see.

Want to get close?

Open your heart,

I will let go of my fears.

Can I run faster than you?

Not if I want you catch me.

Want to know a secret?

I love being treated like a lady.

Want to know my sins?

Let's talk under the covers.

Want to know my dreams?

I have so many.

What's important to me?

Friends, family and you.

What do I want?

Your arms around me.

What will I take?

Only what you give me.

Too much truth for you?

Get over it if you want me.

Still Strong

It has occurred to me what all I've been through. Everything I have seen, all I have felt, the things that have traumatized me. I never had time to sit still long enough to let some things take hold of me. That was when I was younger. I have been through more things I'd care to admit to. I have been blessed to survive some of the things that some would have not gotten through on their own. I kept going even through the quicksand that was trying to swallow me up. Sometimes I went in slow motion, while other times I just skipped forward trying to forget. Trying to erase the bad. I would smile really big and laugh with my friends. My friends were my savior all these years. Even if they didn't know what I was going through. I didn't always let people know my dark side. I kept part of me hidden. Embarrassed and ashamed. I've learned since then that it's okay to have these feelings. It's okay to have someone to lean on. It's alright if someone doesn't understand. Not everyone can deal. Not everyone has walked my shoes. I am thankful that I have been so strong. Strong to deal with so much for so many years without the support most would get. I keep going. I then hit some harder times. I finally slammed into a wall. Had to face up to everything. I felt as if I've been drowning in the deepest part of the cold ocean all alone. I've been swimming for far too long trying to keep from going under. No land in sight. No hand reaching down to lift me out. I realized that I was consumed with my past. The past that I tried so hard to escape, to forget. It's recognizing the pain that seems to be healing me. Dealing with the dark by shining the light on it. Stop running away and face my demons. Stand and fight! Fight for my happiness. For my freedom of what has kept me tied down for far too long. I am not perfect. I will keep struggling. I will keep having to fight. I don't have to be afraid anymore. I am doing what is best for me now. Taking control of my sanity. Taking control of myself. Hugging myself instead of beating myself down day after day. I am still healing. I am still in battle. Though I know I will win this time. I won't back down. I will stay strong no matter what happens next. I will get stronger. Stronger than ever before. I am positive. That is all I need. To believe in myself!

Mirror Image

I look into the mirror and see the same.

An unattractive girl standing before me.

I have changed inside, more than once.

I put more effort into caring for myself.

The results are the same, I'm still just plain.

The outer me wants to look like a movie star.

The inner me wants to feel like I'm 21.

I look into the mirror, not looking any different.

Trying so hard to push myself.

Each passing day I stay afloat.

Careful about what I do now.

Cautious about what I eat.

This mirror of mine has left me beat.

Opened up for suggestions, ready for a change.

I get more demanding each day.

Escaping my old world, my old way.

Losing the pain, losing the weight.

This mirror of mine will pay.